Why is sex such an issue???

Are all singles plagued by overwhelming sexual urges? Or am I the only...one of five?

For the last week and one half especially I have been just inundated with opportunities for sex. I know that the enemy is trying to bring me down with one of my weaknesses but geesh, give me a break!

Apparently it is something that A LOT of people battle, but we never talk about because it is too taboo, especially among Christians. Sometimes I wish I was a 'ho' so I could just have at it. (lol) But I know that the harder I try to behave, the more opportunities I have to fall, the more I tend to think about what I shouldn't be thinking about. Can I get a witness???

It's been in so many different forms I know that satan is trying all that he can to make me fall. I have one friend in particular that I get into trouble with. We hardly ever talk on the phone and when we do we end up going where we shouldn't. I swear, if I did get pregnant I'd have a bouncing baby cell phone! At least it's safe sex, right?

Anyway, a wild one this week was a guy I went to high school with. He popped up to chat which he has done occasionally. We usually chat about movies or memories, friends, just innocuous subjects. Well, this time he started asking me if I was looking at porn and what I was doing. I laughed it off at first figuring that he was joking, but it soon became VERY clear that he was not. He was hot and he was looking for some play. Thankfully we were interrupted because I tell you, my resolve to behave was wearing down.

We ended up talking again a few days later after I had sent him an email that we needed to behave because I am trying to really follow God. He was cool with it, but he ended up going for it again. We eventually got into a long conversation about relationships and finding happiness--my greatest desire is to be married again and I don't want to taint that with extraneous sexual encounters. I want love and I won't settle for less, bottom line. Well, he ended up getting really upset and saying we should just give it up now because we were too different.

Um, OK???

We had gone out once about a year ago and I never got the impression that he liked me at all. So, then, does that mean he did, he does--well he doesn't now because he won't even respond to me. I'm completely confused over that one! I figure he just wanted to get some and I got all 'relationship' on him.

Then there's this other one. Now this one REALLY blows my mind. A younger friend ended up finding me online and we started talking. So he started getting sexual and admitted that he is a virgin and he asked me if I would take his virginity! I am still in shock. That just blows my mind.

A.) That a man can still be a virgin in this world.
B.) That he sought me out to ask to lose it with.
C.) That satan is trying so hard to make me fall.
D.) All of the above.

I'm just floored.

Well, not exactly. The timing is significant indeed. This week we did a fast for church as today we had an amazing healing service. I have been trying to really follow God and listen to His urging, listen to His voice, to be completely baptised in the Spirit, to give myself up to Him in every way. So, of course the devil would try all that he could to make me fall. He even sent a lesbian into my path, but let's just leave that one where it lies, which would be nowhere.

So, I've had an interesting string of weird sexual advances all in an attempt to derail me from God's plan for my life. Did I mess up? Sure. Will I again? I have no doubt. Am I free indeed? Absolutely. Can satan keep me down by either tripping me up with sex, or by making me wallow in guilt? Nope.

I look forward to the beautiful expression of love that I will one day have with my husband. I have no doubt that God has a wonderful godly man for me, a man with whom I will serve Him. It is precious to me and I want to honor that. Yes, I need to make a bigger effort to not fall--I should probably stop answering the phone--but I will not be tempted past what God has given me the ability to handle:

"No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, He will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it." I Corinthians 10:13 NIV

Amen. Be blessed!

- Jan

*** A friend and reader sent me this link after I posted this: Jesus Wants the Rose a sermon by Matt Chandler that really spoke closely to my life. ***

Message to a Friend

I just finished emailing a friend back who has been going through a lot of issues lately and has been feeling lost in her faith and far from God. It occurred to me that maybe what I wrote could help some of you as well. I did, after all, pretty much preach a sermon!!! Some of the stuff in it is personal to me, but I feel that in my vulnerability and transparency maybe you may find some help.

So, here's the text of what I wrote:


"I'm not working, but I'm thinking about putting in some apps. I'm completely out of money and am still not accepting that I have to go on Disability--if it goes through then great, I just don't want to give up on being able to work and be productive! I struggle every day in functioning, but everyone does to some degree. I'm going to have to suck it up and 'just do it'.

And yes, God has changed me that is for sure!!! I am SO thankful that He brought me to where I need to be. Just yesterday I went to lunch with my pastor and his wife to talk about my future. I want to serve Him so much. I'm thinking about what I can do in the ministry. Right now I know I need to get healthy and get closer to Him. I have battled depression my whole life, have battled weight and feeling ugly my whole life, I was molested several times as a kid, I've been raped and beaten, mentally abused, I've been into the occult, battled demons, tried to commit suicide, and worst of all tried to fake being a real Christian--I've been in the darkness, and I know that if I don't stay in the Light I am lost.

Like Peter, if I take my eyes off of Jesus I sink. Is it a battle to stay in that Light? ohmygosh, yesssssss When I don't actively seek Him then I fall into my old patterns, cut myself off from talking to people and stop talking to God. I understand exactly you're talking about. I am praying that you will find whatever it is that you need to find that connection to God that we're all craving. Don't give up. I repented of the occult stuff Christmas of 2006 and I have been going through this process then for what, 32 months? How long does it take to make a baby elephant, something like that, right!?! :) But seriously, I have waged war with the enemy, literally, and what I find most is when I take my eyes off of God then I have no hope because really, as we are in flesh, there is no hope for us. But with God, all things are possible.

So, bottom line, I LOVE YOU and I won't give up on you because if I did then I'd have to give up on myself! And if I give up on myself then it's because I believe God isn't big enough to handle my problems, and if that's the case then obviously He's not big enough to be able to promise me eternity.

The enemy is the one who is the prince of this earth and the father of lies. He's been watching us our whole lives figuring out our weaknesses and using them against us. He sucks. But, only when we realize how he operates can we fight him. After I repented of the witchcraft did I learn about the enemy and how he operates. Churches today don't teach enough about how the devil works. Most people either treat him like he's just a joke almost, or people are terrified of him. We don't need to be afraid because we have more power in Christ than he has. But, we need to know how he works or we won't see what he's up to:

The Bible says, "Take every thought captive to the obedience of Christ." I think that was Paul, who remember said he was ticked because what he wanted to do he wouldn't do, and what he shouldn't do he did--and he actually met Jesus on the road! So, if all these Bible guys walked and talked with God and still screwed up, hey, we're doing pretty good! But I have to actively remind myself of this verse. When I'm thinking something negative I need to study it and say, does this coincide with what God has said, or is this a lie of the enemy? Lies: "I'm worthless, I'm ugly, no one will love me, I will never change, I'm a hopeless case, God could never use me because of what I have done, I'm crazy...." Truth: "We are fearfully and wonderfully made, we are the salt/light of the world, we can do all things through Him who gives us strength, He "has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, love and a sound mind", we are set free from the kingdom of darkness and transferred into the Kingdom of Christ...."

You are amazing with a beautiful heart and many talents. God has given us the power to loose that which is loose in Heaven, and to bind that what is bound from entering Heaven: I bind satan and his demons in the name of Jesus, his weapons will not harm you. I loose the angels to surround you and know the presence of God's love and peace which passeth all understanding. If you believe, nothing will be kept from you.

This verse makes my heart sing: "'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'" - Jeremiah 29:11 NIV

He has not started anything in us that He will not finish. And think of this: satan doesn't attack those who are useless. Don't you think that God must have some good things in store for us if satan has to work so hard to try and make us fall? Pretty cool, huh?

;) Be BLESSED today, claim what is yours rightfully in Jesus's name. I'm here for you, I love you, I believe in you! He who is in us is greater than he who is in the world!"


Hope this helps someone out there who may be going through something similar. GOD BLESS YOU!!!

:) Jan

Horoscopes

Well, today is my best friend Pablo's birthday. And I can't help but think back to when we met...gosh, now that would take a 10,000 word post at least, we'll get to that sometime. But anyway, when we met I remember asking when his birthday was and what his "sign" was. He told me he didn't believe in it, but I was really into it. I thought it was somehow fate that we had come together since we're only 4 days apart--and a year, but let's not dwell on the fact I'm older.

Anyway, I've been thinking about that today, about how obsessed people can be with astrology. One of the longest-held and best friends I have is Jen. I truly love her, we have been through so much together since kindergarten! We have done a lot of stupid things together, too, but I won't get into that here either! Jen is really into astrology. She puts a lot of stock into how astrology really dictates how a person is, who they are and how they act. I used to put a lot of stock in it, too, as well as many other occult studies.

For a lot of people astrology is simply something fun, reading their horoscope from the Sunday paper just to see how accurate it was. That's how it started for me. I simply thought it was cool how "accurate' it was sometimes. That grew into getting books about it, and studying out charts, figuring out rising signs and moon phases. It was a slow progression full of justifications.

"God made the planets and stars, so surely it's OK to look at this stuff. He made them, so He must have made astrology, too."

"Why does astrology have to be of the devil? God is much more powerful, so this power must come from Him."

These are the kinds of justifications that people would and will tell me in order to make looking at astrology OK. And unfortunately I believed it, or at least accepted it in order to do what I wanted.

The Bible says not to mess with astrologers or any other 'Spiritualist'. Not because it's more powerful than God, because the devil is already defeated and he knows it. But because the devil knows our interests, our weaknesses, ways to tempt us, he knows us better than we probably know ourselves. He's studied us from the beginning. God tells us not to mess with that stuff because He wants to keep us from pain.

How could astrology hurt? Well, I suppose if it was truly just something fun to do, not something to potentially draw us away from God, it wouldn't be of any consequence because it's not real. But, the danger is that people put stock into it and start looking to the astrologer for answers instead of God, they make it their god. God tells us in the Ten Commandments to have no other gods before Him, and astrology for many is a god. It was a god for me.

I nearly lost my soul forever playing with fire in the occult, things that people do every day and never even think twice about. I am not overreacting here, I am testifying to personal experience with this dark realm. All it took was a taste of astrology to get me much deeper into occult practices.

Please be careful in all that you do. Think about the things you read, the shows you watch: how many people watch Medium, Ghost Whisperer, Most Haunted? These were some staples in my TV diet. I had to delete channels from my TV in order to curb the temptation. I have to avoid books, magazine articles and internet sites that may tempt me.

I pray that all of you at least think about what I've said. And don't take my word for it, take God's Word for it. There are plenty of scriptures that tell you not to meddle with this stuff. I'm reading Jeremiah 27 right now:

"'So do not listen to your prophets, your diviners, your interpreters of dreams, your mediums or your sorcerers...They prophesy lies to you...They are prophesying lies to you, I have not sent them,' declares the Lord. 'They are prophesying lies in my name. Therefore, I will banish you and you will perish, both you and the prophets who prophesy to you.'" (NIV)

That's one of many. Do a study and search them out. You can use a concordance online to search for specific words in the Bible. You can view the Bible online as well. I just found a good resource for all sorts of Bible study: www.crosswalk.com. It's worth it to at least know what the Bible has to say about it, don't you think?

So, that's a little bit about astrology from my experience. I have a lot to share with you about my experience in the occult, the lies the devil told me in order to get me there, the lies I decided to believe in order to stay there. I pray this helps you. Let me know if you have any questions about this; I'd be happy to share more with you.

:) Jan