I Believe I Can Fly

I have this song stuck in my head, and that's a great song to keep playing like that. I'm not sure who wrote it, but the writer HAD to know about our beautiful Savior. Here're the lyrics; I italicized the ones that really speak of God to me:

"I Believe I Can Fly"

I used to think that I could not go on

And life was nothing but an awful song

But now I know the meaning of true love

I'm leaning on the everlasting arms

If I can see it, then I can do it

If I just believe it, there's nothing to it

- - -

I believe I can fly

I believe I can touch the sky

I think about it every night and day

Spread my wings and fly away

I believe I can soar

I see me running through that open door

I believe I can fly

I believe I can fly

I believe I can fly

- - -

See I was on the verge of breaking down

Sometimes silence can seem so loud

There are miracles in life I must achieve

But first I know it starts inside of me, oh

If I can see it, then I can be it

If I just believe it, there's nothing to it

- - -

I believe I can fly
I believe I can touch the sky
I think about it every night and day
Spread my wings and fly away
I believe I can soar
I see me running through that open door
I believe I can fly
I believe I can fly
Oh I believe I can fly...

- - -

Yes, we can do it, but we have to believe it--and God tells us all throughout the Scriptures about His love and promises for us. We can do all things through Christ Who gives us strength (Phil 4:13).

But the enemy loves to make us think we can't do anything, or tells us how we've failed over the years, how people have failed us over the years, how impossible it may seem, oh so many lies and possibilities. The key is that we need to stay in the Word and keep God's promises fresh in our minds, and to encourage each other to do the same.

It's hard to have endured a lifetime of verbal abuse or low self-esteem that's lies, if left unchecked, can spiral me into a deep depression. I've been working very hard over the last couple of months to change my negative thinking, to change my attitude, to keep myself close to God and those who will help me to stay positive. It's something I know I need to be vigilant about.

I know in this day and age people are pretty blase about 'needing' to go to church. I think one of the biggest problems is that people aren't going to the right church, or going for the right reasons. Yes, technically you don't have to go to church. It's not a requirement for salvation. However, the Word says to not forsake the assembling together--for a good reason!

I am in the most amazing church now. I spent 33 years in churches that did not minister to me. To me they were filled with people trying to act like perfect Christians (me included), didn't teach me how to love God, just how to fear Him, didn't teach me how to worship Him--a big part of what we're supposed to be doing on earth--and didn't teach me about the enemy. I learned to always wait for God's punishment after every screw-up, how to pretend to be righteous, to look down on other denominations and be judgmental....

Yes, I grew up in a church that my mom chose for us, but I never sought out another once I knew I was not happy there. Only in being seriously let down by the last church I was in did I eventually look for a church that was filled with the Light, where I have been able to tear down all the walls that I had built in a "proper" church, to see God for Who He is, and to see me for who I am. It's awesome!

But without my church family I know I would struggle through my week so much more. They keep me encouraged, they keep me accountable, they teach me, love me, accept me, everything that a church should do. I hope that if you have not found the right church you will take the step to find one. It's the second best thing I've ever done--next to my realization for my complete need for Jesus!

I know that without them, without the pillars of friends in my life, I would get back to that deep depression, that churning place that makes me completely unusable by God, that place the devil loves to try and get me to, that place where I see no hope and see myself as worthless instead of created by the Master according to His image, fearfully and wonderfully made.

So, I hope you realize that you can fly through Christ. God has given us so many gifts through the salvation of His Son, and there are many miracles that He desires to bring to and work through us, we just need to realize it and hold on to that truth.

Many blessings!

:) Jan

Letting Go of Pride, Taking Hold of God's Gifts

So on Sunday I went to church as I have been doing for the past several Sundays, praise God! I'm trying to be faithful, as He is faithful. Plus, gosh, it's amazing. Our church is actually praising God, not just there out of guilt or pretense, but truly to worship the Creator and to learn more about Him!

Afterward we had our monthly church social--what I call "The Feed". It's a time after church where we gather in the Family Center, people bring tons of food and we just have a great meal and fellowship. Yes, every church is into eating....

Anyway, while sitting with my friends, I don't know what prompted it, what we were discussing, but I started to talk about how I am out of money, and out of food. I literally had 7 things left in my refrigerator (aside from condiments), and 3 of those things had gone bad. I started crying, A LOT, and not because of the actual situation, but because I feel like I'm not doing enough, because I am not working, though I'm trying to come up with some ways to make money. I guess we never feel like we're doing enough.

So, anyway, one of my friends went and told the ladies doing the cooking and cleaning up that I could use some food. Now, I had brought 2 containers with me, one for me and one for my friend I have been picking up to go to church every week. There are always tons of leftovers and so I knew that they would give me some of what was left from what the church had bought. However, not only did they fill my two dishes and send them both home with me, but they also gave me 14 more! (And yes, my friend got some, too.) I imagine it was like watching Jesus feed the thousands, the woman who kept pouring out the oil in her jar, or the woman who fed Elijah first and found her grain barrel kept refilling--there just didn't seem to be an end to all the food!

All I could do is cry and cry and cry. At first, yes, it was my pride...I should be the one helping, not being helped. I "look" on the outside like everything is OK, my clothes are nice, I wear jewelry, my car looks nice, I live in a nice house--but I can't feed myself. I want to help other people, I don't like being this person who is not out there working or getting things accomplished. Being that vulnerable, that bare, that helpless was difficult to show to anyone else.

But as they kept bringing out more and more containers and saying, "Do you want this, how about that, here take this with you..." I was just so overwhelmed by their love. All I could say was, "My cup runneth over." I truly know now what that is like, what those words feel like in my heart. Those women blessed me in SO many ways and helped me grow in those minutes that I could have only grown through that experience. Add to it, one of the ladies put some money in my pocket saying that someone gave it to her and just wanted me to have it. It was enough to cover a bill I owed today!

Jehovah-jireh: the LORD our Provider! He is our hope, He is our refuge, He is our strength, we have His favor!

I've been asking God to make me a blessing, and here He blessed me beyond what I could have imagined. I had NO idea that would happen Sunday. I went expecting 1 dish and came back with 16! I went with no money and came back with some! This is definitely a "God-thing". No one else but God could have made that happen. It was extraordinary, overwhelming, humbling, exciting, amazing....

I truly know that He is taking care of me:

I sing because I'm happy, I sing because I'm free, for His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me!

A friend of Pablo's sent him and me a link on YouTube with Mariah Carey and Whitney Houston singing "When You Believe". They've been talking about how we are trying to find ways to make money, about how it is overwhelming that we sometimes feel like we're getting nowhere, losing strength. No matter what we've been through, come what may, Pablo and I are still moving forward, together. Thank the Lord for his friendship!

When I listened to that song today, sung by two secular artists who I grew up loving to sing along with, I had to cry and praise God for showing me that if I have faith, if I believe, it will happen, He will prosper me.

HE IS LISTENING, HE IS SENDING MIRACLES.

He knows the plans He has for me, to not harm me, but to prosper me, to give me hope and a future (Jeremiah 29:11). He has those plans for you, too!

Not my will Lord, but thine. He must increase, I must decrease.

When I can't go on, He can. When you can't go on, He will carry you, too.

Be blessed!!!

:) Jan